If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There are leaves in my underwear?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
