JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
They left me at home... I'm a liability
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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