omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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