Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
