This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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