is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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