I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
