I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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