But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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