Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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