It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
