Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
