I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize