All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
