she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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