I'm laying in your front yard are you home
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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