i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
