I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
