i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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