We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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