yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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