You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize