Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
ugly people sure do ruin things
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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