I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
