We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
