Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
