I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
