I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
