Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
