...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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