the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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