I've blown a few things in my day
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
