best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
did you just send me my own nude
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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