I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
