So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
did i walk over a car last night?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
