If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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