I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
