my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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