Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
