Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
