Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
