Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
