Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
