Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
