wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
