dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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