Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
