So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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