just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
