I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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