why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
