I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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