real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
