I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
