just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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