all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
