I wanna bring you to show and tell
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
thus making me awesome and them whores
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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