Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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