Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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