Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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